Didn’t I do well?!
One thing I notice not many of us humans do - especially us Brits - is stop and think about how well we’ve actually done.
It feels far too self-indulgent. Maybe a bit awkward. Almost embarrassing.
We tend to zoom in on what we didn’t do. What could’ve been better, what we’ve not achieved that we set out to, what went wrong. This is something I see time and time again in confidence coaching and life coaching for men, particularly with people who are high-functioning on the outside but quietly self-critical on the inside.
For some of us, that constant scanning for failure slowly chips away at self-esteem and confidence. We don’t feel great about ourselves, not because we’re incapable, but because we rarely pause long enough to recognise our capability. From a mindset coaching perspective, this lack of self-recognition has a real impact on motivation, resilience and long-term wellbeing.
When we don’t make time to acknowledge, sit with, and feel our successes - be that managing 50 squats after being unable to do any, successfully navigating a tricky situation at work, intentionally cutting down scrolling on social media, getting a promotion, or receiving positive feedback - we miss out on something important.
We miss the feeling of self-validation.
We deprive our brains of evidence of what we can do and what we have done.
And our internal battery? It never quite gets the recharge it needs.
So as we veer towards the end of 2025, stuffing our faces with mince pies and brie, hastly gulping dodgy cocktails our sibling has made, and having haemorrhaged money away on god knows what, I have a simple invitation for you.
Block out 30 minutes.
No phone. No distractions. No rushing.
And work through these questions.
What are you proud of this year
a) personally
b) professionallyWhen did you feel most fulfilled?
What didn’t work for you this year?
What needs to change?
What’s the first step?
What do you want to take with you into 2026?
What will you leave behind?
This isn’t about beating yourself up.
And it’s not about forcing positivity.
It’s about giving yourself a fair and honest account of the year you’ve actually lived, not just the bits your inner critic likes to replay. So that you go into 2026 with intention, giving yourself choice, and using what you’ve learnt about yourself, and others, as a guideline for the year ahead.
You might be surprised by what you find when you slow down long enough to notice.
